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I work full time for my dad as a "Marketing Manager." it's pretty chill but gets boring cause there isn't enough for me to do around here. Today I've just been listening to music and reading Chuck Norris "facts." Some of my favorites (excluding the ones everyone has already heard) are:

Chuck norris doesn't read books, he stares them down until he gets the information that he wants.

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, too bad Chuck Norris never cries. Ever.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element Chuck Norris recognizes is the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

There is endless debate on whether the human soul exists. Well, it does, and Chuck Norris happens to find it delicious.

Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the real world economy.

Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Chuck Norris got in a knife fight and the knife lost.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in manslughter.

When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.

There is no 'cntrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Dinosaurs went extinct because of the Chuck-Norrisaurus.

Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors. (my favorite)

-I hope you enjoyed these and a ROFL-ing all over the floor with a BFD in you LGA while the BBRs watch (right?).